The next morning Sasha went down and made breakfast for the two of them and placed it all onto a tray carrying it upstairs where Angie still laid in bed. “Come on Ang. You need to eat something.”
“I’m not hungry.” Angie replied burying herself deeper under the blankets.
Sasha walked over and yanked at the blankets rolling Angie onto the floor.
“Hey! How rude!” Angle said as her voice raised in annoyance.
“You have to eat Angie. We have to be to work in an hour.”
“I’m not going.” Angie said as she picked up the blanket from the floor and returned to her spot in the bed.
“You have to Angie. Sitting here and withering away into nothing is not going to solve anything and I’m not going to let you. You have to get up.”
“And do what Sasha? Go out there and play a great big game of pretend? No thank you.”
“Actually” Sasha said, “That is exactly what we need to do if we’re going to make it through this without losing our minds.”
Angie peeked her head back out from under the blankets where she had buried herself. “I heard Avery Sasha. I heard her as clearly as I am speaking to you now. I think I am losing my mind. She was crying and I couldn’t do anything but listen to my baby cry.”
Sasha sat down on the bed next to Angie and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry Ang. I know that was awful. I think you probably really heard her. I think the connection with our kids, that bond is so strong, not even this can separate us. I heard my baby boy this morning” Sasha said squeezing Angie’s hand as her own tears started to fall.
For a few minutes they both just sat together and cried.
“I think I know the solution. I think I know what we are going to have to do to get through this without mentally torturing ourselves. “
“OK. I’m all ears” Angie said sitting up and perching herself up against the headboard of the bed.
“You’re familiar with method acting right?”
Angie nodded. “Yes. I’ve practiced it to some extent. Jane Rizzoli comes in Monday morning and stays until Friday afternoon. But I don’t do it full force. I do like being me.”
“I think it’s the answer Angie.”
Angie wrinkled her forehead in confusion. “I don’t get it.”
“I did some research this morning. In some cases when actors have fully embraced method acting they in essence forget who they actually are. They become their characters.”
Angie couldn’t help but laugh. “Sasha, how hard did you hit your head?”
“I’m serious Angie. Look it up. Jim Carrey was one of them.”
“OK. Let’s say your right. I don’t want to Sasha. I don’t want to forget who I am. I don’t want to forget everything that makes me, me. Most of all, how am I supposed to erase my kids from my memory as if they never existed. I can’t. Nothing in this world is strong enough to make me forget my girls.”
“You’re not really erasing them Angie. It is more like you are repressing them. Repressing the memories. They’re still there, but you have to bury those memories. The alternative, is to put yourself through the closest thing to hell there is on this side of life. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to hear my babies cry at night while I am trapped here. “
Angie sat for a moment and finally nodded. “OK. I’m willing to try. If we are stuck here we might as well try to do what we can to make it more bearable.”
She reached over and grabbed the breakfast Sasha had made her and started to eat when she was all of a sudden overcome with a sudden bout of nausea. “My God Sash….uh. Maura. These eggs are…..they are…….. Oh God!” she jumped up out of the bed making a mad dash for the bathroom.
“Hey! Those are perfectly good eggs!” Sasha called behind her following her to the bathroom just in time to see Angie hugging the toilet puking. Sasha did the only thing a friend could do it such a moment and held Angie’s hair back so she wouldn’t end up with puke in her hair. After a few minutes she seemed to calm. “Feeling better?” Sasha asked getting up and wetting a wash cloth and passing it to her friend.
“I think. Man Sash ugh I mean Maur, no offense but those eggs smell horrid.”
“They smelled fine Jane. I don’t know what…………….” Sasha’s eyes went wide as the realization hit her. “Angie. Oh my God.”
“What’s wrong? It’s just the stomach flu. Or your cooking” Angie joked as they made their way back to the bedroom.
“Think about it Angie.”
Angie’s eyes also widened as she finally realized the thoughts that were dancing in Sasha’s head. “You don’t think…………..surely………… I don’t, I can’t. Wow. Just when I thought this shit couldn’t get any crazier.”
Angie glanced down at her stomach putting her hand up against her.
Then she went completely silent.
.She spent the next fifteen minutes digging deep within herself as she would if she was about to perform a huge emotionally charged scene.
Sasha could see exactly what she was trying to do so she gave her space. It wasn’t the first time she had seen the actress in this place. Whenever she had a huge scene. A scene that had potential to change lives. Angie would go to this special sacred space where only she and Jane existed.
Sasha finally walked up behind her placing a hand on her back.
“Embrace her. It’s OK. You won’t lose you. I promise.”
Angie looked at Sasha as tears filled her eyes. “She’s scared. No. Terrified. She can’t do this alone. She needs you.”
Angie paused for a moment closing her eyes.
“She loves you. She would do anything to protect you. You mean everything to her. Everything.”
Angie tilted Sasha’s head up so she could look into her eyes. “She’s in love with you. She really is in love with you. She can’t even imagine what her life would be like without you in it.”
Angie pulled Sasha closer to her coming so close to a kiss. But was stopped before her lips could reach their destination.
“No Angie. Don’t. You can’t. We can’t. We’re married. We will reg………”
Angie placed her finger to Sasha’s lips. “Embrace her. Don’t fight it.”
Sasha looked at Angie and closed her eyes as she took Angie’s hand in hers. As she did an electric type current seemed to course through her body.
“Did, did you feel that?”
“Rizzles” Sasha said with a smile.
Angie reached up and brushed Sasha’s hair back and slowly brushed her lips against hers as they again felt an electric energy between them.
Then she stepped back just enough to cup the blonde’s face in her hands. “God Maura. You don’t know how long I have wanted to do that. “
Sasha quickly pulled Angie back into her and kissed her passionately.
“Likewise detective” Sasha said as she smiled from ear to ear.